No one likes that place

I’m a fiend for annexations.  Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than allowing large municipal and city organizations to absorb smaller, tight knit communities, and to make sure that things are truly just.  Think about it, when Omaha annexed Elkhorn, they had far better everything than us in the city.  Elkhorn is located so close to me that everyday I woke up I could feel the oppression of inequality bearing down upon me.  Better roads, services, and a higher average income no more!
 

Throughout my life I’ve seen the signs, even here in Omaha, even on campus; terrible signs asking for money to do terrible things.  “Support Brain Tumors,” “Run for Cancer,” “Help HIV.”
Why do we allow these monsters to ruin medicine’s quest for cures and treatments of serious diseases?  There is nothing fun about disease and death, but signs, booths, and energetic volunteers get together with colorful signs, big smiles, and ask everyone to help support cancer and other terrible things.
 

When I’ve traveled around this country and told people where I’m from, the responses have been disheartening.  Some people barely know where Nebraska is, but those who do have some of the worst perceptions of this state.  Things like thinking of Nebraska as a giant cornfield of a state, that everyone here rides cattle to school, and that we’re a bunch of prairie dwellers who never modernized.
 

UNO’s newest addition to campus stands on four hooves at four-feet tall, has horns sharp enough to scare school pride into even the most moody of Mavericks and a coat of fur covering his whole body to get him through Nebraska’s current never-ending winter.
 

Has perfect workplace safety records, no accidental leaks "so far"

The Zombie Research Facility operated by the University of Nebraska Medical Center reported on two years ago by the Gateway has finally reached full operational capability as of last month. Representatives expect to begin active research during the Summer term, with a special emphasis being placed on potential external threats. The delay is primarily for safety reasons.
 

New group named for it’s motto: “Giving Everyone Some Terrible Agony Promotes Order” (GESTAPO)

People sitting in cars waiting like vultures for a spot to open, illegal parking, hogging two spaces...the list of parking violations goes on and on for many students here at UNO. Thankfully, UNO Parking Services has been listening, and the agency’s leader opened up about some of the changes.
 

Since the recent election of a new student body president/regent and  vice president, a revolution in student government has begun on campus. While it started with a few benign-sounding reforms, the previously unopposed ticket has now completely consolidated their power over student affairs. It began with the removal of voting on some issues, which they said was simply to shorten sessions so that the Senate could get more done.